Woody Allen v. Mia Farrow

8 Feb
Woody Allen, photo by Colin Swan, wikipedia

Woody Allen, photo by Colin Swan, wikipedia

As a general rule, the lives of celebrities do not interest me in the slightest. The current and very public controversy surrounding Woody Allen, however, strikes a little close to home for me to ignore. My thoughts on this are with reference to the excellent article in today’s National Post by Jonathan Kay.

Allen’s 28 year old daughter Dylan Farrow has publicly accused Allen of sexually abusing her as a child. A heinous act for certain, if true. But as Mr. Kay astutely implies, it almost certainly isn’t. Dylan’s older brother Moses is the key to seeing through the smoke screen here.

Mia Farrow, photo by David Shankbone, wikipedia.org

Mia Farrow, photo by David Shankbone, wikipedia.org

As Moses relates, it was his mother Mia who drummed into him and sister Dylan to hate their father for tearing the family apart and for sexually molesting his sister. It was Mia who created the atmosphere of fear and hatred towards their father.

While Kay doesn’t use this term specifically, what he is describing is the ruthless and brutal emotional form of child abuse known as parental alienation. I’ve lived through it.

Dr. Sol Goldstein, a prince of a man

Dr. Sol Goldstein, a prince of a man

The clinical expert in my case who conducted a neutral, court-appointed parenting capacity assessment was Toronto’s Dr. Sol Goldstein. Dr. Goldstein had four decades of experience in this field at the time. He was a child psychiatrist, and adult psychiatrist, an Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Toronto, and a psychoanalyst. He studied psychoanalysis under no less an authority than Dr. Otto Kernberg, a giant in the field of narcissism theory. Dr. Goldstein had stopped counting his high conflict divorce cases after he got to 500, well before he saw my family.

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At a later stage in my case, Dr. Goldstein warned me of the possibility that the parental alienation could expand to include false allegations of sexual abuse of my severely alienated daughter. Apparently it’s par for the course in severe enough cases. Thankfully, this did not come to pass. My life was hellish enough at the time without such false accusations.

As Jonathan Kay points out, the high-minded presumption of innocence can go out the window in cases of alleged pedophilia. While we need to protect our children, doing so at the expense of justice opens the door to a narcissistic and vindictive ex to brainwash the kids into thinking one has committed heinous acts.

There but for the grace of God go I. And I, like Mr. Kay, believe I know what the truth of the matter is when it comes to the allegation made against Mr. Allen.

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65 Responses to “Woody Allen v. Mia Farrow”

  1. Susan Irene Fox February 8, 2014 at 9:32 pm #

    Oh, please be careful on this one, dear Nav. We can never know what goes on behind closed doors. We all have our opinions of the rich and famous, and I know your personal situation was horrible, but to take sides on this one may be casting stones in the wrong direction…for all of us.

    • navigator1965 February 8, 2014 at 10:30 pm #

      You’re correct, Susan. A definitive position should await investigation by a clinical expert capable of making the differential diagnosis of parental alienation v. justified estrangement.

      However, Allen must enjoy the presumption of innocence.

      There is also this from Mr. Kay’s article:

      My best hunch is that Allen didn’t do it. A 1993 report from Yale-New Haven investigators, based on extensive interviews with Dylan and others, concluded: “It is our expert opinion that Dylan was not sexually abused by Mr. Allen.” The investigators found inconsistencies in the child’s story” (which might be expected, given Dylan’s age), and reported that “she told the story [of her alleged abuse] in a manner that was overly thoughtful and controlling. There was no spontaneity in her statements, and a rehearsed quality was suggested in how she spoke” (which would not be expected, unless you suspected she had been coached by her mother).

      Moreover, as noted in The Daily Beast by Robert B. Weide, who once produced a documentary about Allen for PBS: “If Mia [Farrow]’s account is true, it means that in the middle of custody and support negotiations, during which Woody needed to be on his best behavior, in a house belonging to his furious ex-girlfriend, and filled with people seething mad at him, Woody, who is a well-known claustrophobic, decided this would be the ideal time and place to take his daughter into an attic and molest her, quickly, before a house full of children and nannies noticed they were both missing.”

      • bettylaluna February 10, 2014 at 3:51 am #

        Yea well, they make mistakes too…I lived with the professional’s mistakes, took years to recover and it’s still a work in progress…

        • navigator1965 February 10, 2014 at 8:08 am #

          What happened, if it’s okay to ask?

        • bettylaluna February 10, 2014 at 3:44 pm #

          I rather not discuss it except to say that when dealing with children, so many things could go wrong in terms of making determinations. They miss trauma quite often unless it’s glaring. The trauma response is a complicated animal. I don’t believe Mia coached Dylan, I believe the ‘professionals’ were not skilled.

        • navigator1965 February 10, 2014 at 4:14 pm #

          It’s not that Mia necessarily coached the kids in a conscious fashion in such a scenario. If (purely hypothetical) she had a narcissistic dimension to her personality, Allen’s relationship with her former adopted daughter would constitute a severe and unrelenting narcissistic injury to Mia. Due to a known narcissistic process called “mirroring” (note the name of this blog), in such a case Mia would need to see her belief of Allen being essentially evil and wholly to blame for everything reflected in the beliefs, attitudes, and statements of her children especially.

          Dr. Amy Baker, Ph.D., is a world authority in the field of alienation, and provided expert testimony in my case that alienation was essentially a form of cult programming. In severe enough cases, it is conceivable that a narcissistic parent may not be consciously aware of what they are seeking to achieve in terms of controlling their children’s beliefs about the other parent. Dr. Baker testified that we need an expert competent to make the differential diagnosis of alienation v. justified estrangement.

          Thus, your point about “experts” missing child trauma is quite valid. I’ve found the experts in alienation to be some of the most intelligent, knowledgeable, and dedicated people in existence. Dr. Goldstein, for example, saw through my ex-wife’s manipulation and lies, as he knew the clinical indicators for alienation v. justified estrangement.

          Again, I am not stating that narcissism/alienation is necessarily the case with the latest instalment of the Allen-Farrow saga, but rather that it is a valid theoretical possibility, and this case does remind me of my own to some degree. Thus, Allen deserves the presumption of innocence for the time being.

          If you ever want to explore the field of alienation, a great place to start is with Dr. Richard Warshak, Ph.D.’s book “Divorce Poison.”

          Apology if this is a sensitive topic. Appreciate your comments on this post.

        • bettylaluna February 10, 2014 at 5:46 pm #

          I know a lot about NPD. It is my feeling that more suspicion lies with Woody. Rarely do role models (taking the position that he did not have a father/daughter relationship with Soon Yi) take pornographic pictures of young women and call it helping with a portfolio. Woody targeted Soon Yi, her age alone made her vulnerable. Great they get along, perhaps Soon Yi has been adequately groomed and molded. Dylan specifically states Mia told her, if you want to take this back, you can, if you lied tell the truth come clean. That shows even slight cognitive dissonance in Mia – her not wanting to believe any of this is true. The re-victimizing of victims happens every single day. I applaud Mia for taking the stand and having the courage to stand firm in her resolve despite so many who disbelieve.

        • navigator1965 February 10, 2014 at 7:46 pm #

          Betty,

          Your suspicion may be prove to be correct. However, I hold that my theoretical interpretation of events/facts is also plausible, and I suppose that this argues in my mind that the presumption of innocence must be upheld in Allen’s case.

          Your knowledge of NPD interests me. In my forthcoming book, I am proposing that covert narcissism is in fact a feminine form of narcissism. My ex-wife of 19 years has expert-confirmed narcissistic personality traits that, IMO, are a dead ringer for those of the ellusive covert narcissist.

          This is why I think I tend to have a different view of the Allen-Farrow case than you do.

          You might enjoy my book. Covert narcissism as a feminine form, for example, offers a rational theoretical explanation for Munchausen by proxy. themirrorbooks@gmail.com if you’re ever interested in a pre-release read (free, of course). No worries if you’d rather not.

        • bettylaluna February 12, 2014 at 4:28 am #

          I’d be delighted navigator. I am not a professional, a survivor of NPD abuse. I cannot say with any certainty; however, in my ‘research’ I have found that most women are usally dx’d Histrionic or Borderline. We’re talking Axis II Cluster B. On that spectrum traits overlap and therefore it’s not so cut and dry in terms of diagnosis. What allegedly is the distinction…out of everyone on that spectrum, borderlines are the only ones who can at least connect and love even though when triggered (abandonment issues) their narcissistic traits go into high gear and so it would be as if one were a full blown narcissist. Rarely do you find women diagnosed as narcissists although yes…they very well can be ASPD, Narcissists, and/or Histrionic. Used to be in order to get dx’d when you were lucky enough to find someone willing to go to therapy (as high narcissistic traits run through all of the clusters) one looked to confirm five of nine traits; however, today there has been a change in how they go about diagnosing, there is a rubric and a range and if we thought there was confusion before, I am even more discouraged today…many victims have great difficulty finding adequate mental health services in the aftermath of such disordered relationships. I am glad you were able to find someone to help you sort through it. I kinda have an idea of what the ordeal was like being a survivor as well.

        • navigator1965 February 12, 2014 at 6:19 am #

          Betty, have to leave for work, will reply later this afternoon Eastern Standard Time. Really enjoy your insightful comments. Cheers.

  2. Audrey Dawn - Oldest Daughter Redheaded Sister February 8, 2014 at 10:18 pm #

    I look forward to reading your book, Nav. Once I’m done with Adrienne’s I will begin yours. I have an feeling that reading your story will help me to better understand what fathers are truly up against. I’m thankful that I was raised by a man who had three daughters and no wife. I’m thankful my parents’ decision to play nice for our sake turned out well. What I did learn is that people talk and they talk a lot. Ideas are formed and then people talk some more. It can be a disgusting sort of behavior. My story is different, but I feel such a connection to yours.
    Blessings,
    Audrey

    • navigator1965 February 8, 2014 at 10:32 pm #

      Thanks, Audrey. I hope the book lives up to your expectations, and I do appreciate your interest in it.

      Sounds like you had a good dad. Blessings back.

  3. Richard M Nixon (Deceased) February 8, 2014 at 11:10 pm #

    Reblogged this on Dead Citizen's Rights Society.

    • navigator1965 February 9, 2014 at 8:28 pm #

      The honour is much appreciated, kind Mr. Deceased President.

  4. AKA John Galt February 8, 2014 at 11:12 pm #

    Reblogged this on U.S. Constitutional Free Press.

    • navigator1965 February 9, 2014 at 8:27 pm #

      Thank you, AKA JG. I do appreciate the honour.

  5. Lee-Anne February 8, 2014 at 11:34 pm #

    I wouldn’t presume to have an opinion on the Farrow/Allen issue. Like you, I tend to avoid buying into public allegations involving people I don’t know (and the tabloid media’s response is always emotive and sensational).
    But in light of your post, you might find this piece of interest… http://thebea.st/1aIBVpK

    • navigator1965 February 9, 2014 at 7:01 am #

      Lee-Anne, what a great reference. Thanks so much for flagging this for me. I suspect this is what Jonathan Kay based his article off of. It is a most rational and civil bit of writing.

  6. M.K. Styllinski February 9, 2014 at 7:46 am #

    Nothing that has been said in the media so far which can lead us to believe that Allen is guilty – or innocent – in this regard. As a gut feeling FWIW, and based on his history, personality and the fact that he married his adopted daughter, it would suggest to me that there is certainly something amiss with Allen – even with a tendency to abuse, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he did.

    On the part of Farrow, the presence of PAS is also a strong possibility as is the case she is one very pissed off lady.

    In summary, there seem to be “clues” on both sides and based on bias from our own experiences it will colour how we view these cases.

    Just to say also, you book is extraordinary Michael. You write with great insight and humour. I am thoroughly enjoying reading it. What a valuable contribution to understanding our psychology this is. Well done indeed.

    • navigator1965 February 9, 2014 at 9:12 am #

      M.K.,

      Your kind feedback on the book is greatly appreciated, my good Sir. The evolution to what you are reading is an interesting one. I wanted to: 1. Raise awareness of how narcissism typically (IMO) manifests in women; 2. Lay the groundwork for a remarkable unified construct of gender narcissism, with all of its logical implications; 3. Expose the fundamentally corrupt Matriarchal family “justice” system; and 4. Mortally wound ideological feminism.

      No small order, obviously. It’s heartening to hear that the book is an engaging one, as this will be an important part of it achieving its desired objectives.

      Cheers.

  7. M.K. Styllinski February 9, 2014 at 7:52 am #

    In fact, I can see my own bias in the above comment. Ah, the complexities of the human mind..; )

    • navigator1965 February 9, 2014 at 9:03 am #

      M.K., Thanks for much for your two comments. Have a look at the article that Lee-Anne referred me to: http://thebea.st/1aIBVpK

      I didn’t know this, but Woody Allen was never a father, adopted or otherwise in terms of relationship, with his current wife.

  8. Deanna Herrmann February 9, 2014 at 8:15 am #

    This whole thing has brought out so many “take a stand” posts. I have a hard time with some of them who are so sure she is telling the truth and then say that to not believe her is re-victimizing her. They are calling it an example of rape culture. They are grouping victims of sexual abuse and assault as if to say we are all the same and would all feel the same. I am a victim of both and at the very same time, I would still require more information before choosing a side. However, it’s not my place to do so anyway. I’ve seen women admit to lying about the possible abuse of their daughter; sometimes they had the best intentions and other times malicious. Because I’d like more information, does not mean I don’t support her, but it also means I’d like to know that if I were ever falsely accused, I’d have the right of innocence until proven guilty. I actually enjoyed reading your stance on this.

    • navigator1965 February 9, 2014 at 9:01 am #

      Hi Deanna,

      Thanks for taking the time to comment here. First and foremost, please accept my sympathy and love for what you’ve been subjected to in the past. I get the sense from our initial interactions that you’ve done a remarkable job with dealing with these events.

      Your prudent approach to these sorts of situations in general has much in favour of it. I wasn’t even thinking of doing a post on the subject until I read Jonathan Kay’s article. I just saw too many similarities with my case (with the obvious exception that I do not have a much younger wife) to not add my perspective.

      It’s not that I don’t take a firm stance against the sexual abuse of minors, because I certainly do. But it’s that this cannot be permitted to negate the presumption of innocence. Lee-Anne submitted a great link on this: http://thebea.st/1aIBVpK . My thoughts on the topic after reading this article remain the same.

      • Deanna Herrmann February 9, 2014 at 9:16 am #

        Thank you, Nav. I’ve worked hard to move on with my life and change my perspective from victim to survivor. I feel there is a difference. And your situation and perspective is why I enjoyed your post and was not annoyed by it like I have been with the others. Your brought something to the table. You suggested alternatives and reasons. The others just vent about a problem they see in society while they don’t realize they are part of the problem they are so against. Even most common criminals have a “code” so to speak that is against sexual abuse and assault against children and even women. I think the majority of people are, so just because you question the facts in an accusation, doesn’t make you a rape supporter. I think I’m rambling. 🙂

        Bottom line, I enjoyed your point of view. 😉

        • navigator1965 February 9, 2014 at 9:42 am #

          Thanks, Deanna. I do appreciate your positive assessment of the post. I generally try to be neutral in my analysis of issues, but at the same time if I see that the evidence or logic supports a certain conclusion or interpretation, I will rationally state this.

          Yes, it appears as if we do have the refusing-to-permit-ourselves-to-be-victims attitudes in common, and I commend you for this. I had, at the time of my major problems, 25+ years of military training and experience to fall back on, whereas I don’t believe you did. Yours is thus a far more significant accomplishment.

        • Deanna Herrmann February 9, 2014 at 9:49 am #

          Nav, you got me all teary-eyed with that one. 🙂
          Oh and I read that link….quite a bit of helpful and what seems to be factual information.

        • navigator1965 February 9, 2014 at 9:58 am #

          This is the 3rd time I’ve tried to do this, and WordPress keeps nuking it!

  9. idiotwriter February 9, 2014 at 2:50 pm #

    Mr Sir – good article ~

  10. navigator1965 February 9, 2014 at 3:06 pm #

    Thank you, Madam iwriter

  11. waitingforprincecharming February 9, 2014 at 3:28 pm #

    I see how this is relative to your current writing, and appreciate that it is an opinion not a standpoint of fact that is taken.. Well written hypothesis, and well done on tying in a current event to pique interest in discussion for your readers.
    As always, I admire your writing.
    Cheers,
    Waiting

    • navigator1965 February 9, 2014 at 4:28 pm #

      Thank you, Waiting. You kind words are always appreciated. The story does tie into my case in a rather interesting yet sinister way.

      Read your new post this afternoon and will comment there in a little while.

      Cheers.

  12. Kaufman's Kavalkade February 9, 2014 at 7:43 pm #

    I simply do not know. And can’t without a full investigation.

    What I do know is that Mr. Allen’s relationship with Soon- Yi, who was ostensibly his daughter is a red flag for the possibility he might be an abuser himself.

    The New York Times noted in 1991, ” “Few married couples seem more married. They are constantly in touch with each other, and not many fathers spend as much time with their children as Allen does.”

    I realize he did not adopt her, but I can’t imagine living with a child of my long term significant other and not considering that child as my child.

    So you raise fine points, and I am of no final decision.

    I have been thinking about blogging about this very point today in fact.

    I still might. But as we ahve discussed it here this feel enough for now.

    Have a great week.

    • navigator1965 February 9, 2014 at 8:11 pm #

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Monsieur Kaufman. Excellent point about needing a full investigation. Be sure to check out the link that Lee-Anne included in her comment here. It appears to be very lucid, rational, and unbiased. I thought Allen’s current marriage was a bit creepy too, but the article changed my perspective on that a bit.

      I felt I had to do the post, as it just seemed too familiar with my case, in which I was default the “villain” as the male.

      You have a great week to, my good Sir.

      • Kaufman's Kavalkade February 9, 2014 at 9:01 pm #

        Ok, thank you.

    • Violet February 11, 2014 at 7:09 pm #

      He didn’t actually live with them at all. He never stayed over at Mia’s house, and never even said hello to Soon Yi before they became friends around the time she started college.

      • Kaufman's Kavalkade February 11, 2014 at 8:13 pm #

        I know he didn’t live there. Reportedly didn’t stay over.

        But it would be insanely strange not to say hello to the child of your girlfriend.

        If he never said hello, that’s just evidence of some sort of neurosis. haha.

        I believe he did communicate with Soon Yi. And of course he took naked pictures of her while involved with her mother.

        He’s a freak, basically.

      • navigator1965 February 11, 2014 at 8:18 pm #

        Thanks for dropping by, Violet. The facts that you mention suggest to me that Allen’s relationship with Soon Yi isn’t quite the awful event that it is often considered to be. I’m not suggesting that his starting a romantic relationship with Soon Yi was noble or right or good, but since it’s not quite the sordid affair we’ve come to believe, it makes the accusations of sexually molesting a child (Dylan) less credible.

  13. bettylaluna February 10, 2014 at 5:48 pm #

    btw, I am enjoying the dialogue and your presentation

    • navigator1965 February 10, 2014 at 7:32 pm #

      Betty,

      Thank you. (I had to take a break from blogging for supper.) I did try to add enough photos to make it visually interesting as well as topically interesting. Appreciate your noticing.

      Yes, it’s wonderful to be able to have intelligent and civil discussions with people, even when we don’t necessarily agree with one another’s position. Looking forward to more pleasant conversations with you.

  14. toomanyspiders February 11, 2014 at 11:10 am #

    I’m usually on the side you take here– that sexual abuse allegations are the new salem witch trial, but in this case I’m prone to believe Allen might have molested the child. Farrow had concerns about his interaction with the girl long before the accusations were made public, and there was sworn testimony from other adults in the household regarding his behavior toward her. As far as not being able enter an attic due to claustrophobia, that’s silly: sexual lust will override almost any other fear or hangup, as evidenced by most of humanity’s behavior when it comes to sex, which is by nature risk prone.

    I don’t know that he did it, but I do know he’s utterly obsessed with sex and younger women and is, himself, as narcissistic as they come. Mia didn’t need to further sully Allen’s image due to near unanimous public disgust at his relationship with Soon Yi. Perhaps Farrow was in some degree of denial herself over his potential to act out, until she discovered that relationship, which would explain the timing of her coming forward.

    • navigator1965 February 11, 2014 at 4:58 pm #

      tmspiders, You brought in some aspects to the case that I hadn’t heard of before, not being one who follows such things closely.

      I don’t suggest that Allen is a saint by any stretch, but there appear to me to be logical inconsistencies that make me inclined to give Allen the benefit of the doubt for the moment, besides the imperative of the presumption of innocence.

      If Allen is as he has been portrayed by Mia Farrow/Dylan Farrow, then why would Soon Yi be in such a long term and apparently stable marriage to him? Divorce is so easy these days.

      Also, have a look at this article that Lee-Anne was kind enough to bring to my attention: http://thebea.st/1aIBVpK

      Consider Allen and Soon Yi from the perspective of Mia Farrow’s involvement with Frank Sinatra. Mia and Soon Yi appear to have been about the same age when they married similarly old men. (Looking for father figures?) If one posits that maternal influence may be intergenerational (learned, not genetic), we might even wonder if it wasn’t Soon Yi who wasn’t the quiet influence behind her and Allen establishing a relationship.

      Like mother, like daughter–a possibility that no one seems to have considered.

      I cannot say what Allen did or did not do. Beyond the sanctity of the presumption of innocence, however, there are aspects to the case that make me suspicious of the allegations thrown against Allen in their entirety.

      Hopefully some qualified expert can figure this out.

  15. Dugutigui February 13, 2014 at 3:31 pm #

    There is a great film on the issue I recommend you, if you haven’t seen it already. It impressed me quite a lot. The Hunt (2012). In that sense, when I find news about this thorny issue, I try not to cast my opinion, or crucify a person beforehand.
    Great post indeed!

    • navigator1965 February 13, 2014 at 5:36 pm #

      Thank you, Dugutigui. Indeed, we must wait until all the facts are known. I’ll keep an eye out for The Hunt.

      BTW, I think I still owe you a response for a comment on my Edward Gibbon post. Apology – I’ve had a bad cold, and it’s been a bit busy at my end.

      Cheers, Sir.

  16. Diane February 16, 2014 at 7:42 pm #

    Nav,
    I have had the pleasure of dining with Elizabeth Loftus, a psychologist and professor at University of California, Irvine. Her studies, articles, and books about repressed memory are fascinating.
    All the best. 🙂

    • navigator1965 February 16, 2014 at 8:52 pm #

      Hi Diane,

      It’s wonderful having access to such learned minds, isn’t it? I wonder what Professor Loftus thinks of this issue? She probably couldn’t publicly express an opinion without having done clinical assessments in the case. Do you think she would see this as genuine repressed memory on the part of Dylan (i.e., bad Woody (which sounds really bad in these circumstances, come to think of it)), or that these are implanted memories from a narcissistic and alienating mother (i.e., bad Mia)?

      I can’t say what Allen did or did not do. But I can say that there is a plausible scenario in which he did not do it and is falsely accused. Regardless, the presumption of innocence on the legal side of this must be respected until the truth can be determined, if that is at all possible.

      Thanks so much for coming by.

  17. Witless February 19, 2014 at 3:02 pm #

    I am convinced that Dylan’s allegations are untrue, although I am sure she is convinced otherwise. My conviction stems from comparing the personalities and actions of both Woody Allen & Mia Farrow. As Woody Allen got older, he began having relationships with younger women, notably Stacey Nelkin, Mia Farrow & Soon-Yi Previn, but never with underage girls. Soon-Yi has written that he was never a father figure to her, never lived with her, had very little to do with her before she was 19, and that when she & Woody did become involved she was twenty years old. Aside from Dylan, no one has come forward alleging that Woody Allen abused them either before or since. Many men have relationships with significantly younger women, and while this may make some people uncomfortable, it’s neither illegal nor uncommon.

    You also have to consider the unusual arrangements in Woody and Mia’s relationship. She lived in her house and he in his, and he never stayed overnight at her house…not once in the whole 15 or so years they were a ‘couple’. Doesn’t it seem odd that a person with paedophile proclivities would leave his girlfriend’s house to go where he could have peace & quiet away from children? Isn’t it odd that he would finally decide to abuse his daughter Dylan during a custody dispute? Yes, there is the idea that cunning, experienced molesters can be extremely devious, but aside from the possibly coerced testimony of Dylan, there is absolutely no evidence that Woody Allen ever molested anyone. Given the publicity then and now, I find this astounding. Even people claiming to be abducted by aliens have more followers chiming in, also claiming to have been abducted. And consider….when you blame an alien, there is no one to sue. Woody Allen is a rich celebrity, and if he really is a paedophile, where are the other victims asking for financial redress? and where are their contingency lawyers?

    But now think about Mia Farrow…even now she presents herself as some sort of wood elf, striving for her little girl voice to be heard in this mean old world. But remember this is the same woman who constructed a valentine card for Woody stabbed with pins and a knife. The same woman who beat Soon-Yi and locked the 21-year-old into her room. The same woman who defended admitted child rapist Roman Polanski, yet excoriates anyone who dares to support Woody Allen. The same woman who applauds Dylan’s courage to speak out about a child abuser who is a family member, yet has remained completely silent about her own brother who was recently sentenced to 25 years in prison for the sexual abuse of two boys over an eight-year period. There are stories, too, about her rages and fits and violence towards her children. There are stories about how there was a great divide in how her natural children were treated compared with her adopted children, with the adoptees not faring nearly so well. Her adopted son, Moses, now says that all the children lived in fear of disagreeing with Mia and in fear of violent ‘excommunication’ should they show any affection or regard for either Woody or Soon-Yi.

    And consider Dylan. Even when Dylan was first interviewed by investigators they remarked how desperately she strived for her mother’s approval and attention, and how she referred to Mia as her “poor, poor mother”. She’s spent her life as a bit of a dumpy tag-along in the shadow of the glamorous Ronan & Mia. She’s not actually related to Mia Farrow, but seems to have had plastic surgery on her nose to make it look more like Mia’s. Then she got a chance to shine…..by selling her story to the media. And each time she sells it, the story grows….

    • navigator1965 February 19, 2014 at 9:56 pm #

      I think you’re seeing pretty much what I have, and describing what sounds like clinically significant narcissism in a woman.

      Appreciate your dropping by and making such an insightful comment. Thank you.

  18. Miss Lou March 3, 2014 at 4:57 pm #

    I, without a doubt absolutely believe in that cases of ‘parental alienation’ occur. I have experienced it myself and it isn’t pretty.

    I don’t think this was one of them.

    Regarding Allens’ reputation, he pretty much sealed a clearly unfavorable view from everyone with his relationship with Soon Li. Mia didn’t need to do too much of anything.

    The relationship Allen (56) conducted with, and the naked photographs he took of; Soon Li (18/19) while in a romantic relationship with Mia Farrow (which he has admitted to) is enough to require further scrutiny. The actions in my view demonstrate a lack of personal boundaries on his part. Being unfaithful while in a relationship and with someone who was his step daughter – legally having been adopted by MF and Allens son’s sister.

    Of course this does not mean he is guilty of the sexual assault he was accused of, but it doesn’t mean he is not either.

    For those who carry/ied the burden of responsibility to weigh it up – it deserves consideration.

    What I have learned through my own experience and those of working with children, young people and their families – unless we were there, we will never know. Not really.

    ML

    • navigator1965 March 3, 2014 at 6:41 pm #

      ML, I have more sympathy for anyone who’s been a victim of alienation than words can describe. I really appreciate your thoughtful comment on this post/topic.

      I’m not trying to suggest that Woody Allen is a saint or that he acted in a saintly fashion (or that he isn’t or didn’t). But there are things in this case that really take me back to my case, in which case (no pun intended) things MAY be very different from how we perceive them.

      My understanding is that Allen was never an adopted father to Soon Li, nor was he ever in a position of being a father figure to her. If–purely hypothetical–Mia Farrow has a narcissistic personality, and with narcissism being intergenerational, it is possible that Soon Li also has a narcissistic dimension to her personality. If Allen has issues with co-dependency (vulnerability to a narcissistic mate), it is conceivable that it was Soon Li who pursued Allen and not the opposite.

      In such a scenario, Soon Li could have been the provocateur in getting Allen to take the photos. She was of an age where some young women pose for Playboy (or “star” in pornographic movies), so if Allen never had a paternal role in her life, the photos aren’t quite into the realm of near-pedophila as it may otherwise appear. It may have been a vindictive act against a controlling mother, or a way to gain notoriety and attention (narcissistic grandiosity). I’m not suggesting that Allen’s having taken them was socially proper in any sense, but there may be more to this than the default interpretation.

      You make some excellent observations about how difficult it is to know the truth, and that people involved in such cases have to really keep an open mind. I don’t envy people charged with getting to the bottom of these cases.

  19. Miss Lou March 3, 2014 at 5:03 pm #

    I should clarify – I did not think the accusations of sexual abuse were about “parental alienation’.

    I should reiterate, I honestly just do not know (In case that did not come across in my previous comment) lol

    Great discussion post 🙂

    ML

    • navigator1965 March 3, 2014 at 6:43 pm #

      Thanks, ML. Your comments have been an excellent contribution to the discussion here.

      I got you, and didn’t think that you had confused the sexual abuse allegations with parental alienation–all understood.

  20. Miss Lou March 3, 2014 at 5:19 pm #

    Also. my experience with ‘Parental Alienation’ was from the perspective of the child stuck in the middle of it. Which was a very difficult experience.

    • navigator1965 March 3, 2014 at 6:23 pm #

      I’ll reply in reverse order. ML, fire me that email to themirrorbooks@gmail.com ASAP. The manuscript has “Miss Lou” written all over it.

      • Miss Lou March 3, 2014 at 6:34 pm #

        Lol Nav. I’m about to head to our very own #OscarsCeremony for #OscarTheCroc ….

        • navigator1965 March 3, 2014 at 6:44 pm #

          Sounds like some riotous fun. I’ll await an email, and whenever it arrives will fire you the manuscript. Cheers.

  21. KraftedKhaos March 12, 2014 at 2:25 pm #

    This post (and its comments) have shown me two things very clearly.

    A.) I’ve been doing myself a disservice by not following The Mirror more closely, and

    B.) I apparently have no idea what ‘narcissism’ actually is.

    I thought it was someone who thinks they’re the center of the universe.

    • navigator1965 March 12, 2014 at 2:52 pm #

      A) Thank you for this exceptional compliment, KraftedK.

      B) You’ve hit the nail on the head in terms of the traditional view of a narcissist. There’s a fair more going on underneath the surface behaviour, obviously, given that we’re talking about a major personality disorder. Based upon 19 years of marriage, I am arguing in my forthcoming book that narcissism tend to manifest in rather the opposite way in women.

      If you’re ever interested in learning more and have time to read, fire me an email at themirrorbooks@gmail.com. If you can withstand typos, I’ll fire you the manuscript .pdf. No worries if you’re not interested or too busy.

      Test readers have repeatedly told me that it’s a gripping read that holds it own against good quality intrigue fiction.

      • KraftedKhaos March 12, 2014 at 2:59 pm #

        Having just read your third installment of the Yogatorium series (admittedly, I missed the first two installments), The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, and unable to stop reading until the end (and thought it was fabulous all on its own), I have no doubt that it will be a wonderful read.

        As I am always interested in learning more about how the mind works (it’s an interest that seems to grow stronger the older I get…) I’d absolutely be interested in giving it a read. I’ll make sure I have a box of band-aids ready, in order to deal with any typo wound my spelling-nazi self might incur. 😉

    • navigator1965 March 12, 2014 at 2:53 pm #

      “There’s a fair bit …”– typos will be the death of me.

      • KraftedKhaos March 12, 2014 at 3:00 pm #

        That’s why God invented proofreaders 😀

        • navigator1965 March 12, 2014 at 3:02 pm #

          Just finished having a pro proof reader work his magic. And this after professional editing and a ton of great test readers having an eye for mistakes.

          Hopefully the final text will prove relatively bug-free.

  22. navigator1965 March 12, 2014 at 3:04 pm #

    Have to run out shortly, but fire me the email and I’ll send you the manuscript later this afternoon. Appreciate the interest. Some of the test readers who’ve had narcissists in their lives have had minor epiphanies in reading the manuscript.

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