Message to School Principals: Let Kids Be Kids and Boys be Boys

22 Mar
CHILDREN PLAYING. Roman artwork, 2nd century A.D. Credit: Campana Collection; purchase, 1861. Louvre. Source:

CHILDREN PLAYING. Roman artwork, 2nd century A.D. Credit: Campana Collection; purchase, 1861. Louvre. Source:

Where did our schools go wrong? When I was a boy, the absolute, guaranteed, 100% certain best things about school were: a) lunch; and b) recess. The reason?

Football, of the North American variety.

Not the organized version of the sport. Just a bunch of boys with a football going out in the fresh air and having a grand time. No safety equipment, and full tackling. We picked our own teams, ensured everyone played fairly, made certain that everyone got to play, and had a blast in the process. We played in the sun, we played in the rain. We played in the wind, we played in the snow.

We ran. We threw. We caught. We lived life to the fullest, as only boys can.

There was the odd bump or bruise, but never a serious injury. We never got into fights, as the game bred friendship and sportsmanship and honour of the good sort, not animosity.

The only school yard rules that we had were simple. No fighting. Stay on the school grounds. Obey the “duty” teachers on the playgrounds during recess. Be nice.

These were unwritten rules, as far as we knew. You didn’t need to have these written down. Everyone understood.

By the time that my sons were of a similar age–I’ll loosely define this as the grades 3 to 8 period–, my reading had suggested that misguided feminism had adversely affected the education system to make being a boy “bad.” When I checked with my boys’ school principal to see if tackling was still allowed, she told that it wasn’t, as it led to aggression. Only it doesn’t, as I know from experience. As Lenin stated, a lie repeated often enough becomes the truth.

Although my elementary school sons were forbidden from tackling or having any such fun on the school grounds, they knew how to change their tampons due to the school’s excellent state-mandated sex education program. This was a Catholic school, mind you. It was either while in grade 6 or 7 that my older son had a great laugh in his deadpan impersonation of his male teacher informing the class about cunnilingus.

I don’t think I learned what that word meant until I was 30.

Parents, do not despair, for all hope is not lost. There exists a single school in New Zealand where one brave principal has the courage to let kids be kids, which means that boys can be boys. In an uplifting article by the National Post’s Sarah Boesveld, we learn of Principal Bruce McLachlan’s brave and unheard of policy to–wait for it–let kids have fun on the school grounds.

Once Principal McLachlan threw out the rule book, so to speak, what he discovered was: “Fewer children were getting hurt on the playground. Students focused better in class. There was also less bullying, less tattling. Incidents of vandalism had dropped off.”

While Ms. Boesveld correctly discussed the fear of getting sued as a culprit behind schools’ taking all the fun out of the playground, there is a deeper problem. The sort of school that Principal McLachlan is running is the sort of school where boys will thrive. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. This is exactly what feminist education policy makers do NOT want.

Those who doubt this claim are encouraged to read Christina Hoff Sommers’, Ph.D. (and mother of boys), book The War Against Boys – How Misguided Feminism is Harming Our Young Men

Kudos to Principal McLaughlan for compassion, courage, and common sense. Kudos too to Ms. Boesveld and the National Post for a super article.

There is always hope.

47 Responses to “Message to School Principals: Let Kids Be Kids and Boys be Boys”

  1. bethbyrnes March 22, 2014 at 10:46 am #

    I think all children should be playing out in the fresh air, boys and girls alike. If they want to be rough and tumble, they should be allowed that latitude as long as there is no activity that might cause anyone undue physical injury. Schools do operate, to some reasonable degree, in loco parentis and so must ensure the safety of all children, some of whom might not be as physically strong as others. The problem with organized contact sports for children currently is the emphasis on winning that leads to everyone bending toward aggressiveness. Once aggressiveness takes over, the sport, excercise, team-work, athletic and invigorating part of the activity can take a back seat. I think we need look no further than the proven anomalies that even adult footballers (US version, not “soccer”) sustain to understand why it may concern some parents, men and women alike, who want to be sure the maturing brain is protected.

    • navigator1965 March 22, 2014 at 11:49 am #

      Excellent points, Beth. I did not speak of it in my post, but I was not suggesting that children should be left unsupervised in the school yard. Rather, if left to themselves but with the knowledge of oversight, children will self-regulate their behaviour to a reasonable degree. I suppose this assumes that the majority of the children come from reasonably good families.

      I am inclined to agree with your position on organized contact sports for children. What’s worse with some of these, I suspect, is the protective equipment. Eliminating risk modifies behaviour, and the sport can become even more violent and dangerous as a result.

      The article does mention (which I quoted) that the school now has fewer playground injuries as the result of the new laissez-faire playground policy. It would appear that for such recreational school periods (i.e., recess and lunch), less organization is to be preferred.

      Thanks for lending your expertise to this post, which was considerate of you.

      • bethbyrnes March 22, 2014 at 12:17 pm #

        Thank you Nav, I always find your posts to be of interest. One point along the lines of adult supervision is the apparently increasing number of bullying incidents. I am not sure there are more bullies, just more ways to do the bullying and that has to be of concern in physical (as well as other) childhood activities. That speaks to your point of assuming a homogeneous background, which may have been true two hundred years ago, but is less and less so as demographics and mobility change.

        • navigator1965 March 22, 2014 at 12:41 pm #

          No surprise, you’ve piqued my interest with the topic of bullying. I am proposing in my forthcoming book that gender narcissism provides a rational causal basis for bullying, especially the differing manners in which it tends to manifest between genders.

          If we consider Lasch’s “The Culture of Narcissism” thesis, it may well be that there are more bullies as well as more potential ways in which to bully. I actually refer to Dr. Oliker’s, Ph.D., post in this:

          I link covert narcissism to a feminine form, including how this could explain female-pattern bullying (e.g., attacking relationships via indirect and subtle techniques).

          I see bullying in terms of an expanded interpretation of the narcissistic phenomena of projection and mirroring, and with an obvious gender interpretation. It’s an intriguing proposition, in that it would imply that genuine school bullies have problem parents (i.e., the intergenerational nature of narcissism), which I have heard anecdotally is true from one experienced school principal.

          Your point on society begin less homogenous than in the past is certainly valid and well made.

    • Jenni March 22, 2014 at 11:56 am #

      teeny problem with that – life is competitive and pretending it isn’t is crippling a generation of young men and women. Why strive if not to win or to improve. What happens when they hit the workforce and come up against performance reviews where unlike school not everyone gets a smiley sticker just for participating. Contact sport, non-contact sport and even in academia the idea of putting yourself to the test to see what it is you can achieve in life is a lesson we are failing on a cataclysmic level to deliver to the younger generation. Competitive does not have to mean violent nor arrogant – those are character traits learnt in a different arena and then applied to situations as they come. That is something that needs to be addressed through the home and school rules but is not a byproduct of sport or even competition. Regardless of what studies show what the brutal truth of the matter is these children are hopelessly unprepared for a competitive job market and a life that requires effort.

      • bethbyrnes March 22, 2014 at 12:14 pm #

        There is an appropriate developmental time when competition and the “real world” (i.e., the adult world) is appropriate. It is not in a young child’s interest to introduce these concepts too early. Children are not tabula rasas on whom you can write anything you wish, if you want them to grow up to be rounded, contributing, healthy and happy adults. All I am suggesting is that, while some competetive instincts are natural, adults prompting it too early, leads to all kinds of undesirable or adverse effects, many of them unintended. Children need a childhood, and by this I mean, around the age of adolescence (depending on the individual), it is developmentally appropriate to start introducing certain adult-world realities.

        There is plenty of time to prepare children for the adult job market. A little child development knowledge would go a long way to addressing your concerns. You needn’t worry about ‘ranting’ at me, I did not make the world, I am reporting it from an informed position.

        • Jenni March 22, 2014 at 12:21 pm #

          I wanted to apologise I didn’t read what you said very clearly and now going back I see the point you were trying to make. What can I say – I have a few ‘issues’ when it comes to the changing face of education.

        • bethbyrnes March 22, 2014 at 12:51 pm #

          No offence taken. We all want the best for children, over their lifetimes. You haven’t read my posts about children being allowed to be children, so how could you know where I am coming from. I am a huge fan of Waldorf Education (world wide) and one of the primary reasons is that it incorporates the vital role of free play, childhood and scientifically accurate child development-appropriate activities from birth to 18.

  2. Jenni March 22, 2014 at 11:47 am #

    It has got to the level of ridiculous where children cannot be children anymore.

    • navigator1965 March 22, 2014 at 11:53 am #

      I think you’re right on the money with this comment, Jenni. Our education systems seem hell-bent on ensuring that kids are politically-correct on every social topic of significance–i.e., they are taught what to think instead of how to think–, but they aren’t given the latitude to actually be kids.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Much appreciated.

      • Jenni March 22, 2014 at 11:59 am #

        Ah – you haven’t seen my other comment yet have you?I had a little rant at the woman who suggested that competition is bad.

        • navigator1965 March 22, 2014 at 12:09 pm #

          Beth is a rather well educated and articulate lady, Jenni. I’ve had several pleasant blogging discussions with her on a variety of topics, even when we’ve seen things a little differently.

          I don’t think she was endorsing any wishy-washy education system that teaches “self-esteem” and ignores the truth about a student’s level of academic achievement.

          It was more that organized sports can become focussed exclusively on winning, to the detriment of all the good things that sports can offer kids (i.e., sportsmanship, teamwork, dedication, reasonable loyalty, etc.). Beth also has a valid point about the risk of long-term brain injury to athletes as adults. Canada has recently seen a fair bit of debate about this as to what is the proper minimum age to permit full body contact in hockey, for example, to prevent the risk of significant brain injury.

          No, I hadn’t seen your other comment at the time. Thanks for pointing it out.

        • Jenni March 22, 2014 at 12:14 pm #

          I suppose that it’s harder for me as in Australia Rugby Union and Leage are big and use no padding and at some of the schools (private ones anyway) the boys need a note from the doctor not to play. It’s just part of who we are I guess. I also have a few issues as my brother who was downs syndrome used to love horseriding but once he turned 18 and the ‘legal friend’ took over his estate they stopped it because if he fell off he could hurt himself. So I get annoyed at the whole wrap the world in cotton wool. Sorry if I misunderstood Beth’s point.

        • navigator1965 March 22, 2014 at 12:26 pm #

          No worries, Jenni. Sorry to hear about your brother. It seems almost cruel to deprive a person of something they love, against their will and in their “best” interests. As determined by someone else, of course.

          I don’t have a problem with rugby (one of my sons played for a bit, but it’s not as big in Canada as in down under), given that it is a hooligan’s game played by gentlemen. So long as organized sports for kids doesn’t lose sight of what’s really important, including the kids’ safety and long-term health, I don’t see anything inherently bad about it. But it can get out of hand if not monitored.

  3. Tarnished March 22, 2014 at 1:38 pm #

    This is what recess *should* be!
    I went to a private Catholic school from kindergarten till 4th grade…Naturally, boys wore crisp white shirts/ties/navy pants and girls wore the same shirts with jumpers. Neither sex was permitted to tackle, run, push, jump off anything, or shout loudly, for fear if us getting dirty or scuffing our polished shoes. It was dismal and boring.

    Luckily, when I got to public school I now had a principal and numerous teachers who understood that it increases classroom productivity if kids are allowed to blow off steam for 40 minutes everyday. I agree with you, Nav. The fact that nearly every school in the US and Canada acts like my private school did is cause for alarm, and needs to be changed so that children can once again be children.

    • navigator1965 March 22, 2014 at 2:00 pm #

      Thanks for sharing such a relevant personal story, TS. Kids should be allowed to have fun at school. It’s great when kids can’t wait to get there in the morning, and terrible when they wish they didn’t have to go.

  4. M.K. Styllinski March 22, 2014 at 4:49 pm #

    A good read!

    Education has gradually become a playground for corporatism, not least various forms of inculcated narcissism – that seems very evident indeed.

    I’ve been reading a lot by John Taylor Gatto recently whom I think offers a pragmatic wisdom on what education has become whilst offering hope for what it could be. His book: “The Underground history of American Education” is superb. You can find an easy to read online version on his website here:

    He doesn’t tackle the feminist influence directly, but he equates present and past schools and curricula as examples of psychopathy.

    • navigator1965 March 22, 2014 at 5:03 pm #

      Thank you, M.K. This sounds like a train of thought that is right up my alley, and I appreciate being queued towards it.

  5. idiotwriter March 23, 2014 at 6:24 pm #

    Great article Nav –
    I have found that there is a fair amount of activity allowed in my sons school. Fairly decent (to a degree – there were concerns as the area of play was tarmac.) The aggression still came through somewhat – though I see this mainly as a generational and perhaps also socio-economic situation. He was going to be at a ‘posh school’ (very good school!) which was FAIRLY stiff upper lip – but still geared toward lads. The guys from that school seemed to be a bit ‘full of themselves’ though – and though we were pleased he would have access to great education…something was not gelling?

    Anyway since moving -he could no longer have gone to that school and has entered a co ed school that is very sport orientated. He is very cultural and the other school was MORE that way inclined. THIS school however is suiting him well. It is a little slower paced and more focused on ‘kids being kids’ They have various sporting games they can do at recess and it is ofcourse the highlight. Supervised but not ‘controlled’.
    The lad is into table tennis 😉
    The phys ed teacher is a South African man – and I dare say – knows what boys need.

    Not sure what I am saying here?? I think really – it is that I am glad that he is in the school he is in – even if it is not as highly academically rated as the other one he got himself accepted into.
    He may want to go to a music school when he is older – but right now….well school is FUN because he gets to do active and fun things everyday with not too many handbreaks.

    Yada yada yada 😉

    I like the comments here about the age appropriate caution in activities. It IS important to protect those little brains. I remember at the junior school where they could not be as active (mainly due to the facilities) that there used to be a fair amount of accidents – mainly because kids were being active in the WRONG way (climbing on stuff they were not supposed to like a bunch of monkeys) instead of being engaged positively in naturally formed group activities…hence all running amock made it harder for supervision..which means – SOMEONE is going to get injured.
    Though they had a strict no bullying policy – bullying was large. (no outlet right?) I do not mind my kid coming home with bruised and bashed limbs (which he does!!) but not from getting intentionally kicked around (which he did!)

    It all ties in to the same thing – everything has just gone so far the wrong way. Except for the odd spot here and there.

    • navigator1965 March 23, 2014 at 8:49 pm #

      Belinda, Thanks for joining in and sharing your own stories. Yes, it’s great when kids are happy at school. I think that matters more than the “best” school.

      He’s lucky to have such a good phys ed teacher!

      • idiotwriter March 24, 2014 at 6:26 am #

        Yeah – I joined in a fair bit there! lol!

        • navigator1965 March 24, 2014 at 7:22 am #

          You did, but that’s a good thing. It’s nice to see a parent’s passion for the issue. Sign of a caring and concerned Mum, if you ask me.

        • idiotwriter March 24, 2014 at 7:23 am #

          Bless you 😉

        • navigator1965 March 24, 2014 at 7:30 am #

          Back at you. }:-)>

  6. Aussa Lorens March 23, 2014 at 11:49 pm #

    This is honestly quite terrifying. I remember running around, climbing trees, crawling through sewers and getting incredibly dirty when I was a child. What will all these kids be like when they grow up without having crawled through sewers and the like?

    • navigator1965 March 24, 2014 at 7:20 am #

      Exactly, Aussa. Ditto for playing Red Rover… “Red rover, red rover, we call BILLY over.” Or British Bulldog.

      When school is fun, kids want to go there. Recess and lunchtime on the playground can be the “big sale” that makes the little customers want to go into the store. Good for their health, friendships, emotional and psychological development, etc.

      It helps produce better adjusted adults in the long run. Thanks for stopping by.

  7. waitingforprincecharming March 24, 2014 at 5:04 pm #

    I could write an essay on this in what I’ve noticed in my generation as a child vs. what is coming up now (and admittedly Nav, I’m a wee bit behind you lol)… Let kids be kids, competition and roughhousing (within reason) never hurt me, and I grew up with good values and morals and do not have an overwhelming sense of entitlement (also another problem I’m noticing in younger generations)…
    I’m not sure that I’d link this directly to the feminism movement, but if it serves well for your promotion of your work, have at it… But there is a huge societal contribution to this matter that is not purely feminist.
    Just my two cents..
    A pleasure reading you as always.

    • navigator1965 March 24, 2014 at 5:14 pm #

      Ah, but ’tis a pleasure to have you here, Madam wfpc. The link to feminism is not an obvious one, and I probably would not have made the connection myself without having first read Christina Hoff Sommers’ book “The War Against Boys.”

      However, causal debates aside, it is indeed a societal issue to consider.

      BTW, have you met the delightful Irish southern belles at I’d ask if all you Irish ladies are so wonderful, but of course I know that the answer is “yes.”

  8. Sherri March 25, 2014 at 1:30 pm #

    I agree Nav, I think it is very harmful that boys can’t be allowed to play in this way in the playground and it is heartening indeed to read about teachers like Principal MacLachlan and what he has accomplished in New Zealand. It brings a great deal of hope 🙂

    • navigator1965 March 25, 2014 at 6:16 pm #

      Indeed it does, Sherri. What is equally heartening is the positive response that this principal appears to be getting from students, parents, and the press. It appears that everyone but the education bureaucrats are pleased by it.

  9. Violet March 26, 2014 at 1:15 am #

    While not bursting with energy, the Snake and the Goat may have a solid relationship. As lovers they are capable of having an incredibly sensual, rewarding connection. Their overall compatibility rating is 70%.

    I’ll take it. 😛

    • navigator1965 March 26, 2014 at 6:55 am #

      Oh, but you’ve made me laugh, Violet. Good for you two. A good marriage requires some work, but it sounds as if the two of you have a good basis to start from.

      Again, all the best for a happy life together. With a little work on both your parts, this should reside well with the realm of the achievable.

  10. Holistic Wayfarer March 26, 2014 at 8:38 am #

    Nav, one of my fav posts here. Just love your presentation. Very much you, but you at your best. Great job here:

    “No safety equipment, and full tackling. We picked our own teams, ensured everyone played fairly, made certain that everyone got to play, and had a blast in the process. We played in the sun, we played in the rain. We played in the wind, we played in the snow.

    We ran. We threw. We caught. We lived life to the fullest, as only boys can.”

    and with the introduction of the principal.

    My first year behind the desk in the public schools, the mentor assigned to me had two words for guiding light: “Think legally.”

    Your description of the good ‘ol days when we let boys be boys (and kids be kids, as can be broadened) whets my appetite for a post I’d slipped to the backburner this year. On our organic development out of childhood, the joys and freedom of (literally) exploring our world. We’ll see if I get to it.

    I can’t even touch on the rest of this rich post. The eggshells strewn all over PC ground, how schools have become prisons in more ways than one, the inappropriate things kids are exposed to – by their own teachers.

    By the way, Paul a new reader has enriched and broadened the discussions on my board. His last comments under The Race: Part 5 invite the Nav’s gold two cents. Great minds do attract and I must introduce you. He just talked about class divides in Canada. Dear man does not blog himself, though not for long if I can help it, but he helps make blogging the incredible experience it can be.

    • navigator1965 March 26, 2014 at 8:57 am #

      Hello, Madam Wayfarer. So delightful to have you back here with your kind comments and welcome insight. I fear I have gotten a wee bit behind in attending to the blogs that I follow, and I will get to your most recent post(s) shortly. I will certainly search for Paul’s contribution amongst the comments.

      Interestingly, I wrote a sort essay on my positive experiences as a child playing unorganized football. I wrote it during my prolific period of poetry, perhaps six years ago. I’ll have to see if I can find it on my old computer, and perhaps make a post of it. My writing style has likely matured since then, so it will be interesting to see it this has indeed occurred and, if so, to what extent.

      I’m so glad that I have provoked you to consider tackling–pun intended– your deferred post topic. There is, indeed, a wonderful dialectic amongst us here at WordPress, and we are the better for it.

      • Holistic Wayfarer March 26, 2014 at 9:13 am #

        I’d love you to unearth that piece, Nav. And I didn’t want you to feel any pressure about keeping up at my board. I’d simply wanted to introduce you to Paul. I know you will be so glad to meet him – and most certainly vice versa. You were so gracious keeping up better than I’d expected on vacation. I would not impose on you.

        • navigator1965 March 26, 2014 at 10:24 am #

          Reading your thoughtful and eloquent posts could never be considered an imposition, H.W. A privilege, yes; an imposition, never. I understood your intent in having me link up with Paul.

        • Holistic Wayfarer March 26, 2014 at 10:32 am #

          I emailed Holistic Husband your post. We have felt quite constrained by a homeschool mom who insists the boys in the group “not play violently” (shoot with finger guns. Yes, guns shaped by cute fingers).

  11. navigator1965 March 26, 2014 at 11:24 am #

    I find such an attitude to be prevalent in our narcissistic age, and I suspect the basis of it stems from (radical/gender) feminist ideology that all women are victims. This implies that all men are victimizers, and feminist ideology certainly appears to need this to be true. Christina Hoff Sommers’, Ph.D., book “The War Against Boys” is instructional, here.

    I played with toy guns as a boy. I had a happy, moderate, traditional Catholic family. I didn’t bully or hurt people. I grew up to be a responsible male member of society, career RCAF officer, and Member of the Order of Military Merit, and father of three whose claw marks on the front steps showed that he was dragged from his children’s lives by wicked feminist social workers, lawyers, and judges, against his will.

    For two out of the three kids, he clawed his way back, despite hostile opposition. Toy guns made me a violent man?

    It sounds as if your problem mother has adopted a position that has no basis in actual science or fact, and is thus untenable. I would refer her to the books of Michael Gurian, for example:

    This is also a good article:

    A weapon is not innately good or evil. It is a tool, and it is the purpose to which it is put that can be good or evil. Further, building on the Huffy P article, I would argue that it is an inherent aspect of the male contribution to humanity that men be the primary protectors in society. A la Maria Montessori, boys playing with toy guns, in the right family and social environments, are learning to become virtuous men. Courage and duty before self are learned. This doesn’t make mass murderers. It helps make military men, and police officers, and firefighters, and search and rescue parajumpers, and mountain rescue experts.

    It helps make loving and committed and REASONABLY protective fathers, too.

    Further, according to the book “Legalizing Misandry” by McGill University academics Paul Nathanson and Katherine Young, children who were abused by their fathers tend to grow into victims, whereas children who were abused by their mothers tend to grow into victimizers. It isn’t masculine pattern play in their youths that causes some boys to later go rogue and wrong.

    My youngest son was the victim of a relentless school bully while in grade 2. As the school’s “zero tolerance” policy insisted my son as equally responsible, I got him into a good kung-fu school with a super kids program. I reinforced the school’s ethics program., and “Leo” soon sorted out his bullying problem. When the bully then tried to find other victims, “Leo” sorted him out over this as well. The two eventually became friends, boys being boys.

    “Leo” is now 17 and in grade 12. His marks are in the 90’s, and he’s been accepted to the prestigious University of Waterloo for civil engineering. He is a 2nd degree black belt in Shotokan Karate, and is looking forward to studying the Israeli Krev Maga self-defence system and Kendo when he gets there. He’s never been in trouble in school, doesn’t get in fights, has not left a trail of pregnant young women in the wake of his high school adventure, appears to be genuinely admired by his teachers, given their report card comments, etc. He’s shaping up to be a fine young man.

    “Leo” also had martial arts training (i.e., toy) weapons at a relatively early age. Perhaps the mother should consider whether it’s her son’s best interests or her own personal insecurities that she’s putting first.

  12. cardamone5 March 26, 2014 at 6:28 pm #

    Visiting from Holistic Wayfarer’s site where you liked a post on race featuring me!

    I think this piece is spot on, and I’m a woman, but not a feminist. I never played football, but it makes sense to me that this would be a chance for all to release pent up energy, form lasting friendships and learn essential life lessons like good sportsmanship as you say so well.

    On the other hand, the mommy of two boys in me (both age 11, twins) shivers at the prospect of them being tackled. They’re bookish and not inclined to wrestling, etc, but part of me wonders if they wouldn’t benefit and even rejoice in football.

    I think, at least, children should have the option!

    Best regards,

    • navigator1965 March 26, 2014 at 6:50 pm #


      It’s so nice to have you drop by and comment–thank you. I did like your contribution to H.W.’s project, as I thought your honesty and candour were noteworthy. So many people are afraid to even discuss this politically-correct topic, for fear of being labelled racist if they aren’t perfectly PC.

      You make some good points regarding this post. Not every boy in my early and middle schools played football with us, but we did have strong cores that loved it. Not every boy will be a roughhousing sort of enthusiast, and that’s absolutely fine. To each, their own. Just so long, as you perceptively point out, as they have the option to participate, should they want to.

      Kindest regards in return,


      P.S. I have to hide my true identity while blogging or writing. There’s a tiny bit of a legal issue in my never-ending quest to defeat the evil forces of feminism. };-)>

  13. Susan Lattwein March 30, 2014 at 8:44 am #

    Can you give a teacher some of your insight please? Why are some boys (at a Catholic school) incapable of playing sport without hurting others and playing by the rules? It drove me nuts, and out of teaching, really – that a few bullies could consistently wreck sport for the fair-minded majority of boys and girls. As a teacher my hands were tied. I sent the bullies to the Principal, who went and shot hoops with them (oh, what a consequence). Looking back, I think the style of the Principal trickles down into the culture of a school.
    Hurrah to Principal McLachlan, he must be doing something right.
    And kids that have had a good run around at lunch and recess certainly get less antsy in class.

    • navigator1965 March 30, 2014 at 9:24 am #

      Bulling is certainly not something that should be tolerated. My thoughts on letting kids just have fun at recess do not extend extend to anarchy, that they should be left unsupervised on the playgrounds, or that they can all sort out bullying without assistance.

      I’ve been on the receiving end of bullying as a kid, and I know how horrid it is. I am proposing in my book that narcissism is the cause of it, which means that it is a tough nut to crack (as teachers well know). I am also submitting that school bullies’ parents will tend to be problem parents, as narcissism is intergenerational. Telling a narcissistic parent that his or her kid is a bullying implies that the parent isn’t a great one, and narcissists don’t like to hear that they are great.

      Yes, shooting hoops isn’t great in terms of consequence-for-actions. Perhaps the principal was trying to build a rapport with problem students through sports, but what was actually happening was to reward a bully for this abusive actions. The same thing happened to my youngest son, for a while.

      Indeed, hurrah for Principal McLachlan. Thanks for stopping by, Susan. Hope the sequel is progressing well.

      • Susan Lattwein March 30, 2014 at 6:04 pm #

        Yes, the parents of these bullies were more aware of their rights than their responsibilities, if you know what I mean.
        At my daughters’ school there was a no touching rule which was sad for a number of reasons.
        My sister in law has taught for 25 years and has seen great changes in parenting. There is a more prevalent me, me, me mentality around. The more I’m writing this, the more I’m agreeing with you about the increase of narcissism.

        Thank you for your good wishes. I haven’t forgotten our agreement.

        • navigator1965 March 30, 2014 at 7:02 pm #

          You are quite welcome.

          If you write a #1 NY Times bestseller, I get free therapeutic massages for the rest of my life. And if I write a #1 NY Times bestseller, I get free therapeutic massages for the rest of my life. Best agreement I’ve ever entered. You’re a peach, Susan.


          Yes, once one starts to grasp what narcissism is and how to recognize it, you realize that it’s everywhere.

        • Susan Lattwein March 30, 2014 at 7:08 pm #

          Hang on!
          Seriously, I think you’re onto something big about narcissism. Very interesting why it’s on the increase.

        • navigator1965 March 30, 2014 at 7:30 pm #

          Oh, was it that other agreement? }:-)>

          Yes, it’s actually very big. Way, way bigger than Ph.D. thesis big. The end result of the unified construct of gender narcissism is that civilization is going through the same process of narcissistic social decay as befell the Roman Empire.

          This is why the subtitle for Book Two is “Harbinger of a Dark Age,” as the Dark Ages are what happened for a 1,000 or so years after Empire fell.

          Remember, you read it here, first. (Watching my commas!)

  14. navigator1965 March 30, 2014 at 7:00 pm #

    If you write a #1 NY Times bestseller, I get free therapeutic massages for the rest of my life. And if I write a #1 NY Times bestseller, I get free therapeutic massages for the rest of my life. Best agreement I’ve ever entered. You’re a peach, Susan.

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