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Individualism as a Remedy for Feminism

28 Mar

The one post that EVERYONE on WordPress, feminist or not, should read.

Serendipity

The dichotomy put forth by feminists can hardly be considered intellectually rigorous or value-free. There is little need to state the obvious; male disadvantages and injustices as well as female privileges and aggressions do also exist. Feminism is an ideologically biased, emotionally fuelled, preconceived narrative, and must come to face the reality of ever-mounting opposing evidence.

In rhetoric, feminists often claim to “speak on behalf of” women and the marginalised (which is quite presumptuous in itself). Yet their sympathy only extends to what falls neatly into their narrative, and injustices that fall outside of their margins are blatantly ignored. Any reminder that, for example, males can also be victims of violence or discrimination, will usually be met with a dismissive and often offended tone, as the feminist begins to lecture on how much more oppressed the non-male population is.

Such behaviour is not only unbecoming and inconsiderate, but it also breeds…

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Why feminism is hurting women

10 Mar

Violet is a blogger known for her exceptional calibre of serialized fiction writing. However, in this post she demonstrates that she is just as effective in the realm of succinct non-fiction. A killer good post by Violet.

Serendipity

Gender equality is just a slogan that politicians like to wave around. Whether in the West or the East, society is still dominated by men. Feminism hasn’t brought happiness to women obsessed with overachieving or comparing themselves to men, only misery from the inevitable disappointment from unrealistic expectations.

The false confidence of believing men and women are equal has created an abundance of overqualified single women struggling against their ticking biological clock because feminists convinced them that their priority is to spend their most crucial years ‘proving themselves’. We’re pushed to achieve excellence in education and fight the uphill battle for workplace equality when it’s simply not realistic for companies to hire women who are at child bearing age for fear of paying maternity leave. Alternatively, biologically driven desires like having a family are put on hold for our careers until it’s too late.

One need only examine the sorry state…

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ON VACATION!!

21 Feb
Saddleback classic briefcase

Saddleback classic briefcase

Won’t be doing much blogging. Back in early March. Invading the Grand Canyon and surrounding vicinity.

Try not to miss me. };-)>

On Writing A Book

9 Feb
If I can do it, so can you.(Credit: Pearson Scott Foresman, Wikipedia)

If I can do it, so can you.(Credit: Pearson Scott Foresman, Wikipedia)

As with many people, I aspired to write a book one day. Now that I have done it—book should be out in a month or so—, I thought I might write on writing. A book, that is.

I don’t know if there is a right way or a universal formula, so I’ll just describe what I did. It may or may not apply to you.

While I do love fiction, I’ve always wanted to write non-fiction. The problem was, I never really had anything substantive enough to write about. Plus, those married-with-children years didn’t actually leave me with a lot of spare time, either.

This isn’t to say that I didn’t write—I did. Mostly shorter professional writing, though. (If you blog, you’re writing too.) But not the book or books that I had wanted to do.

Then something “good” happened. I had a divorce from hell starting in 2008. Every feminist within reach seemed to line up to put the boots to me. I finally had something to write about.

I did plenty of research. It’s so easy in today’s internet age. I checked all the applicable laws and regulations. As it turned out, I discovered that what some of the feminist social workers, lawyers, and judge did to my kids had a name: abduction, as defined in the Criminal Code. When I brought this to the attention of the authorities (everyone that I could think of), it was covered up.

I had a couple of false starts in writing the book. It really got going once I learned about writing a book proposal, as this allowed me to wrap my head around the project. With a planned structure in place, the writing had a framework to hang itself upon.

This is the last post on my series on book proposals. It has links to all the instalments.

It took me about five months, working vacations, evenings, and weekends, to write the first draft. It was in rough shape in terms of typos and errors, but there it was. This was almost a year ago. Since then, I’ve been doing a sequence of test readers. Get the feedback, check my emotions and ego, and think about it. Make enhancements. Another test reader. Repeat. Repeat again.

Around two dozen test readers later…

It appears that the trend for new authors is definitely to self publish their first book(s), and hopefully to get noticed and then signed by a traditional publisher. So, I began the self-publishing stuff in earnest last fall, while continuing with the test readers. I chose FriesenPress.com, as they offered a fairly comprehensive package. I have to do most of my own marketing, but that’s par for the course.

The beauty of test readers is fourfold, as I see it. First, they can give you the unbiased advice that you might be incapable of giving yourself. Second, they read what you actually have written, whereas you tend to read what you think you have written. Third, with enough eventual positive feedback, you gain confidence in both your manuscript and your ability to write. Fourth, if you work at it long enough, are personable enough, and are grateful enough, you just might build a humble PLATFORM that is said to be essential these days.

I’ve reviewed the galley proofs for my book and sent them back for correction. I should be receiving the revised galleys any day. The cover design, which I have deliberately not revealed yet, is finished, and people say that it is striking. I am getting so close.

This started five and a half years ago. Obviously, perseverance is a virtue as a general rule, and this applies to writing books as well. There is a message that everyone should take from this.

If I can do it, so can you.

* * * * *

I blog as navigator1965. My blog The Mirror is a reflection upon life, and covers different topics. I can be reached at themirrorbooks@gmail.com, and I do thank you for your kind interest in this guest post. Note that test readers are also referred to as beta readers.

[EDITORIAL Note: This has been simultaneously posted at A GOOD BLOG IS HARD TO FIND and HarsH ReaLiTy.

Woody Allen v. Mia Farrow

8 Feb
Woody Allen, photo by Colin Swan, wikipedia

Woody Allen, photo by Colin Swan, wikipedia

As a general rule, the lives of celebrities do not interest me in the slightest. The current and very public controversy surrounding Woody Allen, however, strikes a little close to home for me to ignore. My thoughts on this are with reference to the excellent article in today’s National Post by Jonathan Kay.

Allen’s 28 year old daughter Dylan Farrow has publicly accused Allen of sexually abusing her as a child. A heinous act for certain, if true. But as Mr. Kay astutely implies, it almost certainly isn’t. Dylan’s older brother Moses is the key to seeing through the smoke screen here.

Mia Farrow, photo by David Shankbone, wikipedia.org

Mia Farrow, photo by David Shankbone, wikipedia.org

As Moses relates, it was his mother Mia who drummed into him and sister Dylan to hate their father for tearing the family apart and for sexually molesting his sister. It was Mia who created the atmosphere of fear and hatred towards their father.

While Kay doesn’t use this term specifically, what he is describing is the ruthless and brutal emotional form of child abuse known as parental alienation. I’ve lived through it.

Dr. Sol Goldstein, a prince of a man

Dr. Sol Goldstein, a prince of a man

The clinical expert in my case who conducted a neutral, court-appointed parenting capacity assessment was Toronto’s Dr. Sol Goldstein. Dr. Goldstein had four decades of experience in this field at the time. He was a child psychiatrist, and adult psychiatrist, an Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Toronto, and a psychoanalyst. He studied psychoanalysis under no less an authority than Dr. Otto Kernberg, a giant in the field of narcissism theory. Dr. Goldstein had stopped counting his high conflict divorce cases after he got to 500, well before he saw my family.

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At a later stage in my case, Dr. Goldstein warned me of the possibility that the parental alienation could expand to include false allegations of sexual abuse of my severely alienated daughter. Apparently it’s par for the course in severe enough cases. Thankfully, this did not come to pass. My life was hellish enough at the time without such false accusations.

As Jonathan Kay points out, the high-minded presumption of innocence can go out the window in cases of alleged pedophilia. While we need to protect our children, doing so at the expense of justice opens the door to a narcissistic and vindictive ex to brainwash the kids into thinking one has committed heinous acts.

There but for the grace of God go I. And I, like Mr. Kay, believe I know what the truth of the matter is when it comes to the allegation made against Mr. Allen.

Awakening

1 Feb
Future spiritual Nemesis of feminism and class bad boy, circa 1972

Future spiritual Nemesis of feminism and class bad boy, circa 1972

With apologies for the one day delay due to workload and a somewhat unpleasant cold, I now unveil my 31 January 2014 submission for the delightful Barbara Fraken’s AWAKENING series at her blog Me, My Magnificent Self.

Barbara is a decidedly spiritual person in what I would describe as a New Age way sort of way, and her enthusiasm for spirituality is infectious. Her series deals with awakenings, or decisive points within a person’s life when they achieve quantum advances in spirituality. Her guideline to structure submissions is:

*Remembering My Childhood… and ‘if applicable’ Shutting down the contact with my soul to fully experience my humanness…

*First Stage of Awakening… My Call to Attention…

*Second Stage of Awakening… Dismantling my Life…

*Third Stage of Awakening… Glimpses of Clarity and Releasing Human Desperation

*Fourth Stage of Awakening… Quiet Time and Potentialising…

So here goes:

The journey to a spiritual existence is, I suppose, different for different people. Who can say if any two journeys are exactly the same? What follows is my journey, as best I can understand it, and placed against the framework that Barbara has kindly suggested:

Remembering My Childhood

We were a military family, and so we moved rather frequently. I have generally fond memories of my family. I remain close to my two younger sisters, and I also enjoy wonderful relationships with both my parents, who are now in their early 70s. Ours was a moderate Catholic family that focussed on love, forgiveness, charity, and generally behaving in a good way. No fire-and-brimstone. It was an excellent start in life towards a spiritual existence, with my father being more orthodox in his interpretation, and my mother being more intuitive. Due to the frequent moves, I was always the new kid and was often bullied and occasionally beaten on. Thus, I had plenty of learning experiences in terms of forgiving, although I was decidedly imperfect in this.

But I did try.

First Stage of Awakening

I suppose this could be said to have started when I was in high school, when I began to think more actively about being a good person in the moderate Catholic context. I was to later learn, thanks to an insightful question from blogger Kim Saeed, that I am likely INTJ on the Briggs-Myers personality type inventory. Basically, everything in my world has to logically fit together. Even spirituality. My brain is constantly trying to knit things together to find patterns amongst even disparate things. The pursuit of wisdom at this early age seemed to me to be a very logical and noble quest, as with wisdom one could discern between right and wrong in God’s eyes, and thus with some confidence one could lead a decent life.

I thus carried on in the tradition of my father, being a moderate Catholic, getting married, and having three children. Well, at least contributing to having three children, to give credit where credit is due. };-)> Tai Chi was a part of this in the earlier years, and it is something that I enjoyed and would like to have the time and resources to be able to pursue once again.

Second Stage of Awakening

Given my INTJ nature, in the mind-body-soul triumvirate, my mind is, perhaps, senior amongst equals, or tends to be. The dismantling of my life began intellectually with a book by the late Professor Charles Hapgood titled Maps of the Ancient Sea Kings. Succinctly, Hapgood’s analysis of maps that stretch as far back as the Library of Alexandria showed or implied geographical, mathematical, and clock technology knowledge that history records us not having achieved (together) until the late 1700s. Mind blowing! This, in turn, opened my eyes to the field of alternative research – history, archaeology, science, engineering. Together, this implies that there perhaps was, in high antiquity, a unification of all branches of knowledge that continues to elude us today. Maybe the biblical story of the great flood isn’t so crazy, after all.

Boring to some, mind-blowing to INTJs

Boring to some, mind-blowing to INTJs

Third & Fourth Stages

I am not certain where I am in terms of the third and fourth stages. I had a terrible divorce starting in 2008. My ex-wife, it turned out, has expert-confirmed narcissistic personality traits. The utter opposite of genuine spirituality. She severely alienated our three children from me during this, and every feminist within 100 miles seemed to line up to assist her – social workers, lawyers, politicians, and judges. I still haven’t seen my daughter in over five years due to this, although with a prolonged fight, I was able to salvage relationships with my two sons.

Learning to forgive and let go of the anger has been a challenge, but I’ve made progress. If there was a purpose to it all, it was that my mind could see the underlying pattern in everything the kids and I went through, and then tie it into the broader world that surrounds us. I’ve had some magnificent insights into people, narcissism, and society, and I am capturing these in a two book set, the first of which will hopefully be out next month (i.e., end February or early March): The Mirror, Book One – Welcome to the Evil Sisterhood. I’ve never written a book before, so this itself is exciting, especially as I’ve had highly encouraging test reader feedback.

The books are an emotional, intellectual, and spiritual catharsis. Through these, I hope to be able to move onto to the fourth stage of awakening and learn to live a truly spiritual life. I invite people to visit me at http://www.navigator1965.wordpress.com or to email me at themirrorbooks@gmail.com if they are interested in having a read of the book (free, of course!).

Thanks Barbara.

Cheers,

Navigator1965

The Versatile Blogger Award

11 Jan

image

Now that I’ve finally gotten smart enough with WordPress to figure out how to process an award, I have to thank blogger Kim Saeed of Let me Reach with Kim Saeed fame for the Versatile Blogger Award.

While I’ve yet to get proficient enough (and have enough spare time!) to pass all of these awards along, I do want to answer the questions. For this award, I have to write seven things about myself. Here goes:

1. I used to practice Yang style tai chi, and loved it. I will get back into it again some day.

Stop! You haven't used deodorant.

Stop! You haven’t used deodorant.

2. I’d love to own an English bulldog.

Credit: Quizillafreak, wikipedia.org

Credit: Quizillafreak, wikipedia.org

3. Lagavulin is my favourite whiskey.

The elixir of life

The elixir of life

4. My favourite audiophile website is Arthur Salvatore’s.

5. I curse the Swedes whenever I have to assemble Ikea furniture. Lucky for me, the Swedish Ambassador hasn’t been around. Would have caused a major diplomatic incident if he had been.

1st Ikea store, or "hell" as I like call it

1st Ikea store, or “hell” as I like call it

6. I love music on vinyl. I have a basic used Lenco turntable by Jean Nantais. Those “in the know” say they are by far the best turntables in existence, bar none. Here is mine with a friend’s $15,000 dollar custom tube amp (I wish!).

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7. I will likely take up writing as a full time endeavour by March as part of a major life change (read: can’t find a real job).

Sunshine award recipient

11 Jan

image

Blogger sistasertraline kindly bestowed the Sunshine Award upon me. Here are the questions that I have to answer:

What is the first thing you do as soon as you wake up in the morning? Take the iPad from my night stand / bed side table and try to get through the 100 or so blogging emails before I have to get ready for work.

What is your greatest fear? My greatest fears were realized when I had my children taken from me by the matriarchal state and had them subjected to expert-confirmed child abuse. I was helpless to stop it at the time.

Do you have a new years resolution for 2014? Destroy the Matriarchy. Feminists messed with the wrong Dad.

What is your favorite song at the moment? As one who loves turntables, vinyl, and tube amps, I have to say Dave Brubeck’s “Variations on Brother, Can you Spare a Dime.” Tough call, though.

What is your favorite childhood memory? Playing North American style football with my father.

Facebook or Twitter? Neither turn my crank. I do have a Facebook page in real life, but rarely use it. Never done Twitter.

What did the last text message you received say? From my sister two days ago, saying she was in hospital. Not life threatening, thankfully

What bugs you the most? Mean people.

What do you consider to be the most important appliance in your house? If it counts, my computer, as I wrote my book on it.

If you could have one song that would play whenever you entered a room, what would it be? If it’s in the sense of something dramatic, I wouldn’t. If the question is more towards identifying a set of lyrics that I identify with, perhaps Kansas’s “Dust in the Wind.” I don’t really have a single song that stands out in this regard, though.

What’s your favorite movie quote? You know, thinking about it I realize that I don’t really have one. “Make my day” when it comes to feminists?

Thanks to sista for her thoughtfulness in honouring me thus.

Nav in Dante’s Yogateria

6 Jan
Actual unretouched photo of Yogi Nav. Credit: Deepak, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Yogisculpture.JPG

Actual unretouched photo of Yogi Nav.
Credit: Deepak, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Yogisculpture.JPG

Someone who shall remain nameless, and hence shall henceforth be named The Nameless One, convinced me to go with her to hot yoga. “In the middle of winter?” I guess, why not? Although I was a little confused upon learning that it was hot yoga.

When I was a kid, it only came in plain and vanilla.

Off we go in what was only a minor snowstorm. After a lovely drive, we arrived at what I thought was the yogateria. Little did I know. For some strange reason, I was bid to enter the men’s change room and don my black non-speedo swim trunks and a black tee shirt.

Black is slimming. This proved to be a good thing.

I was led to a room. It was no ordinary room. It was a sultry room, a dim room save for a few candles along a distant back wall, candles whose faint, flickering light cast haunting shadows across the bodies laying on the floor, so still in their repose that they seemed to await a quiet judgement that spoke of a pending agony, a deep agony, a complete agony.

Vanilla?

And then a man entered. Not a large man, as the largeness of men is reckoned, nor a small man, as the smallness of men is reckoned, but a man in between a large man and a small man. He spoke. He spoke in a serene voice, a voice not lacking in confidence, a voice devoid of hubris or any other human failing, a voice that seduced me into yearning for the torture that was about to be inflicted upon my unsuspecting body, a body made not small by weeks of Christmas revelry and a lifetime of practice before, a body never intended by God or nature to bend at the joints, let alone anywhere else.

But it did. Oh, how it did.

As my eyes adjusted to the sultry gloom, a gloom better suited for a grim and swarthy tropical dockyard after sunset than a New Age nordic yoga torture chamber, I could make out the penitent bodies that surrounded me on the floor, bodies contorted in a macabre synchronized ballet of unnatural pose and pain so perversely profound that they formed, in unison, a dark angelic choir exalting in unholy silent scream.

I was surrounded by these dark spandex-clad and disturbingly lithe twenty year old Luly Lemon Amazon warrior princesses of unnatural flexibility. And as we contorted ourselves in a slow and silent tribute to self-flagellation, the air filled with a thousand musks in that dark and sultry room, a room closer to Hell than to Heaven, my very sinews crying in the agony of a thousand endless deaths, I came face to face with a realization that had only ever hovered at the recesses of my awareness, a realization that could only prove to be my complete and utter undoing.

Downward dog leading to the evil cobra reveals if the body in front of you is wearing a thong. Luckily for me, I wasn’t.

Then came other insights, in rapid succession, each one striking my mind as an innocent child striking its first match, awareness erupting from the dark into a brief consuming flame. There was a wall of mirrors in the front of the dark, sultry room, an unfeeling mockery of the torturous scene displayed before it, mirrors laughing silently at the writhing of the musky, sweat-drenched damned, mirrors that could betray the innocent eyes of one who, upon completing downward dog and then the evil cobra, that cold and heartless serpent whose venom coursed along my spine, through no volition of his own, beheld the wholly unsolicited yet inescapable display of the thong so cruelly thrust upon him.

It was a good thing that the dungeon of the distorted damned into which I had been deposited was dark, lest the mirrors betray the wanderings of my innocent eyes which were innocent no longer.

Then the man, who was neither a large man nor a small man, released us from our torment with but a single word, a simple word, a spiritual word. Namaste. There may be many responses to Namaste, or there may only be one. Whatever the response or responses to this word of subtle and sublime meaning may be, there is a response that is not that response or of those responses.

One is not to reply with “butter chicken,” however good an idea it may have seemed at the time.

Despite this and everything else, I survived Dante’s yogateria. I lived to tell the tale. I am older. I am wiser. And almost certainly more flexible.

compass rose

‘What do women want?’ is the dumbest question a man could ever ask – navigator1965

5 Jan

DonCharisma seeks some lighthearted navigator wisdom about women. Look no further…

Don Charisma

This is cutting edge improvisational blogging.

We call it – “Whose Blog is it anyway ?”

We have written this for FUN, not serious, to amuse ourselves and our readers, and help promote our blogs. So please read with that in mind.

Me And Nav

Nav and I share a common ethos, neither of us suffer misandrists gladly.

Suz Jones was the catalyst that brought us finally together after his recent “Follow Blogger” submission on her blog. I hadn’t until that point realised that he was someone I wanted to get to know, or any common interest apart from both being men. After reading his about page, and empathising with what he’d been through, I decided to cultivate him as a friend. Indeed a good friend he has indeed turned out to be.

Nav is an accomplished wordsmith and currently working on a new fiction book that is an exposé of misandrists. At…

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