Rage in the Prison of my Circumstance

24 Jan
Lycaon turned  into a wolf (Goltzius 1589)

Lycaon turned into a wolf (Goltzius 1589)

I am restless, to and fro
In the prison of my circumstance
The rage within does start to grow
This burning rage well do I know
I feel it swell into extreme
And rise into my tighten’d throat
It gathers there and burns as steam
Then unleashes a most frightful note
With head thrown back in carnal song
My eerie scream against the night
In a horrid moment so prolong’d
Rabid echo of my fearsome plight
Fields of freedom are within my sight
As I reach beyond my prison’s bars
In a futile hope to grab what’s there
And then I turn my burning glare
To the walls that bare the scars
So gouge’d into by flailing claw
Propell’d by force of rage so raw
Then of prison’s door I am aware
I attack it with a rage renew’d
The door then yields to my stern will
Torn asunder by a violent blow
Yet my torment-scream grows louder still
For my jailer, now, he is construe’d
And blocks the door, this man. I know
My freedom he will not bestow
For I can’t permit myself to go.

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52 Responses to “Rage in the Prison of my Circumstance”

  1. suzjones January 24, 2014 at 5:33 pm #

    Wow Nav! That’s awesome. 🙂 I really, really liked it.

    • navigator1965 January 24, 2014 at 5:40 pm #

      Thanks, Sue. Wow, that was a fast response. Glad you liked it. Haven’t posted a poem for a while.

      • suzjones January 24, 2014 at 5:43 pm #

        I’m sitting at my computer and I always read the emails from my favourite bloggers first 😉
        btw – did you notice that I’ve read three of your proposal posts? lol

        • navigator1965 January 24, 2014 at 5:48 pm #

          You are a sweetheart. Your feedback/comments on the proposal posts have been outstanding.

          You should be my Australia agent! (I should be so lucky.)

        • suzjones January 24, 2014 at 5:56 pm #

          All comments gratefully taken on board and serving to further inflate my ego! 😛

  2. Jami January 24, 2014 at 5:38 pm #

    Powerful, 1965. You write beautiful poems, that’s for sure. I also wrote a poem on anger once, though not so elegant as yours: http://daysofevolution.com/2012/04/17/anger/

    Whatever angers you, I hope that you find a way to make peace with it. But sometimes, I know, that just ain’t gonna happen until it does.

    • navigator1965 January 24, 2014 at 5:45 pm #

      Thank you, Jami. I wrote this after my last Christmas with my narcissistic ex-wife, when I couldn’t stand being with her, yet tried to get her into therapy for the kids’ sake. Before I broke as a Catholic and divorced her. Obviously, I was deeply conflicted. Better now. Book and blogging has really helped.

      Yours was nice too.

      • Jami January 24, 2014 at 5:55 pm #

        I can only imagine…and glad to hear it was from your past. I will be reading that second book to see what happened from there.

        • navigator1965 January 24, 2014 at 10:20 pm #

          More of the same systemic injustice. I saw deeper into the chess game of human existence. Book One is but the tremor.

  3. LindaGHill January 24, 2014 at 5:51 pm #

    I feel your frustration in this. Nice twist at the end.

    • navigator1965 January 24, 2014 at 7:40 pm #

      Thanks, Linda. The ending tells it all – the frustration, the angst.

  4. Susan Irene Fox January 24, 2014 at 6:40 pm #

    Loved this. Can really feel it, now that I’ve read the book. You are one talented man, my friend! BTW, this weekend I dig into editing. Had way too many irons in the fire. Expect notes soon.

    • navigator1965 January 24, 2014 at 7:47 pm #

      Thank you, Susan. All of my poems come from this period, either before, during, or shortly after the decline and fall of my marriage. The book(s) really put the poetry into context.

      Really appreciate the support on the galley proof. I just finished up to chapter 2 this evening.

  5. Susan Lattwein January 24, 2014 at 7:22 pm #

    Impressive and emotive poem. Your anger is/was palpable and yes, great twist. Wow.

    • navigator1965 January 24, 2014 at 7:53 pm #

      Thanks, Susan. It derives from a highly frustrating family situation. Trapped by my own conscience and circumstances, I could not permit myself to go.

  6. idiotwriter January 25, 2014 at 3:59 am #

    Classic. I had goosebumps coming on and off. Stunning write Nav. (hectic – but stunning) – beautifully timed somehow too – (oh jeepers now I have a lump in my throat – silly girl!)

    • navigator1965 January 25, 2014 at 8:25 am #

      Thank you, Belinda. I was dealing with some powerful emotions at the time. May not have been fun, but it did make for some meaningful poems.

      • idiotwriter January 25, 2014 at 9:31 am #

        I would imagine it must have been a ‘comfort’ to express in poetry things that are all most inexpressible. Funny how that works.

        • navigator1965 January 25, 2014 at 9:56 am #

          It was comforting. Helped me process difficult to articulate emotions, and something nice comes of it too.

        • idiotwriter January 25, 2014 at 4:55 pm #

          Something nice is always – nice –

        • navigator1965 January 25, 2014 at 5:14 pm #

          Indeed.

  7. bethbyrnes January 25, 2014 at 11:22 am #

    One can sense the catharsis building in the tension toward the ultimate resolution. Doesn’t this speak to all of us? Osho often said ‘Get out of your own way’. I think in esoteric Tarot it is card 15 – we put a loose shackle around our own necks and then fail to see we can escape, any time we want to. I apply all this to myself. Thanks for evoking these powerful images.

    • navigator1965 January 25, 2014 at 1:47 pm #

      How true, Beth. We often are our own jailers in life, and often it is our fear of others’ opinions of us that are the shackles. I’m so glad the poem spoke to you, and indeed I did craft it with a building tension in mind, only to have the recognition of the jailer’s identity and circumstance bring emotional resolution. Thanks for your insightful comment.

  8. agesturelessimpure January 25, 2014 at 9:29 pm #

    Well crafted, kind sir. I am not a poetry person per se, but this one really did grab my attention. there is a sort of immediacy about it that captured my imagination. Bravo on this, and dealing with it in a way that is more winning than wining.

    Paul

    • navigator1965 January 25, 2014 at 9:47 pm #

      Thank you, my good Sir, for your kind comment. One has to confront life’s vicissitudes when they arise, not cower before them.

  9. SHIRLEY MAYA TAN January 26, 2014 at 6:40 pm #

    Intense and beautiful 🙂

    • navigator1965 January 26, 2014 at 10:06 pm #

      Thank you, Shirley. There were certainly some intense emotions behind the writing of it.

      So nice of you to visit.

      • SHIRLEY MAYA TAN January 26, 2014 at 10:08 pm #

        I am your new follower/fan, Navi 😉

        • navigator1965 January 26, 2014 at 11:49 pm #

          You honour me, Shirley. Apology for being brief–it is 11:45 p.m. here where I am, and I have one chapter left in my book’s galley proof to review before emailing the corrected file back to the self publishing house. (Plus I had yoga this evening. Long story.)

          The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
          But I have promises to keep…

          If you’re ever interested in the book, please fire me an email at themirrorbooks@gmail.com. No worries if you’re not.

          Cheers.

  10. Inion N. Mathair January 27, 2014 at 5:55 am #

    Well said my friend, well said!! Tis a poet it would seem!! That poem was passionate, deep & the ending was both frightening & honest! Clearly your experience with your wife left you more than enough to write about. And Poetry is a wonderful venting tool. As you proved right here!!! Masterfully created from anger driven passion & experience. Those are the most riveting poems my friend! The ones that stay with you as this one will us!! Whenever we read poetry, we try to pick our most favorite part of it to show the author what spoke to us. But with your poem, this was more difficult to do as the entire poem was brilliant and each part felt dependent upon the delivery~as if it would cease to exist without each other. However, to stay true to us, we will tell you that we absolutely loved the whole of the poem, but this was the part that touched us the most:
    “Then unleashes a most frightful note
    With head thrown back in carnal song
    My eerie scream against the night
    In a horrid moment so prolong’d
    Rabid echo of my fearsome plight
    The words are alive….alive & working as it causes images to flood our minds. Brilliant Nav!! Brilliant!! Sharing this now with our networking friends!!

    • navigator1965 January 27, 2014 at 6:36 am #

      Ladies,

      You are too lavish with your kind compliments, for which I thank you. Yes, some good came from that unpleasant marriage experience, obviously. I’m so glad the poem had such an impact on you.

      You’ve picked my favourite part of the poem, too. The imagery and emotions are rather visceral.

  11. Jenna Rambles January 27, 2014 at 1:10 pm #

    This is what perfection looks like 🙂

    • navigator1965 January 27, 2014 at 4:01 pm #

      You are just a sweetheart, young J.R. Somebody had better snap you up fast, or I’m going to arrange your marriage to my cousin. He was a bit behind the rest of us in school, so we sent him to do his Ph.D. in math so he could get extra practice in. He should be done by XMAS.

      • Jenna Rambles January 27, 2014 at 4:11 pm #

        Lol!! Aww! That is so funny! You’re the greatest, Nav!

        • navigator1965 January 27, 2014 at 4:31 pm #

          Wonderful people like you just bring out the best in me.

          Cousin is on sale this week. Haven’t told him about it, so Mum’s the word.

        • Jenna Rambles January 27, 2014 at 5:20 pm #

          Fire sale? Lol

  12. Johney January 27, 2014 at 1:59 pm #

    Well I must say, you definitely have a new fan! I am here via Inion & Mathair, who are just wonderful!!! I absolutely loved this poem and am very much looking forward to reading more from you! 🙂

    • navigator1965 January 27, 2014 at 3:57 pm #

      I love those two! Thanks so much for your kind words, and welcome aboard. My poems all come from the 2005-2008 period, but hopefully I’ve a few more left in the bank that will meet with your approval as well.

      Cheers.

  13. inceptionspark January 29, 2014 at 6:07 am #

    Reblogged this on The Grey Place and commented:
    Powerful

    • navigator1965 January 29, 2014 at 6:42 pm #

      Thank you for this kind honour, inceptionspark.

      • inceptionspark January 29, 2014 at 7:07 pm #

        It is a pleasure – a wonderful poem – thank YOU navigator1965 😀

        • navigator1965 January 29, 2014 at 9:22 pm #

          My pleasure and privilege, i.s. Thanks again for the kind words.

  14. Sherri February 1, 2014 at 12:40 pm #

    Love this poem Nav, my kind of poem definitely 🙂

    • navigator1965 February 1, 2014 at 1:07 pm #

      Thanks, Sherri. Glad you like it. It is a favourite of mine.

      • Sherri February 2, 2014 at 2:52 pm #

        I can see why, it’s brilliant, love the depth and the emotions it evokes…

        • navigator1965 February 2, 2014 at 3:02 pm #

          Thank you again, Sherri. You’re a wonder for a fellow’s self confidence!

        • Sherri February 2, 2014 at 4:45 pm #

          🙂

  15. yakinamac February 3, 2014 at 9:53 pm #

    That is genuinely brilliant. And those last few lines… Great, fluid writing with real emotion and something meaningful to say. Loved it.

    • navigator1965 February 3, 2014 at 11:02 pm #

      Thank you so much, Yak. I wrote this when I was “trapped” in a Catholic marriage to my narcissistic ex-wife, but felt I couldn’t leave for the kids’ sake. I was expressing strong emotions with this poem, as you clearly recognized.

      She ultimately broke me in terms of marriage vows, but I arose a stronger man.

  16. KG February 7, 2014 at 10:08 pm #

    Wow… How come I missed it !!!

  17. navigator1965 February 7, 2014 at 10:15 pm #

    Thanks, KG. It is a powerful one, isn’t it? Perhaps you didn’t get an email alert?

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Rage in the Prison of my Circumstance | A Good Blog is Hard to Find - February 8, 2014

    […] am navigator1965, once again guest posting here. The poem Rage recently appeared at my blog The Mirror. Hope you like […]

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