I am restless, to and fro
In the prison of my circumstance
The rage within does start to grow
This burning rage well do I know
I feel it swell into extreme
And rise into my tighten’d throat
It gathers there and burns as steam
Then unleashes a most frightful note
With head thrown back in carnal song
My eerie scream against the night
In a horrid moment so prolong’d
Rabid echo of my fearsome plight
Fields of freedom are within my sight
As I reach beyond my prison’s bars
In a futile hope to grab what’s there
And then I turn my burning glare
To the walls that bare the scars
So gouge’d into by flailing claw
Propell’d by force of rage so raw
Then of prison’s door I am aware
I attack it with a rage renew’d
The door then yields to my stern will
Torn asunder by a violent blow
Yet my torment-scream grows louder still
For my jailer, now, he is construe’d
And blocks the door, this man. I know
My freedom he will not bestow
For I can’t permit myself to go.
Rage in the Prison of my Circumstance
24 Jan52 Responses to “Rage in the Prison of my Circumstance”
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February 8, 2014
[…] am navigator1965, once again guest posting here. The poem Rage recently appeared at my blog The Mirror. Hope you like […]
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Wow Nav! That’s awesome. 🙂 I really, really liked it.
Thanks, Sue. Wow, that was a fast response. Glad you liked it. Haven’t posted a poem for a while.
I’m sitting at my computer and I always read the emails from my favourite bloggers first 😉
btw – did you notice that I’ve read three of your proposal posts? lol
You are a sweetheart. Your feedback/comments on the proposal posts have been outstanding.
You should be my Australia agent! (I should be so lucky.)
All comments gratefully taken on board and serving to further inflate my ego! 😛
Powerful, 1965. You write beautiful poems, that’s for sure. I also wrote a poem on anger once, though not so elegant as yours: http://daysofevolution.com/2012/04/17/anger/
Whatever angers you, I hope that you find a way to make peace with it. But sometimes, I know, that just ain’t gonna happen until it does.
Thank you, Jami. I wrote this after my last Christmas with my narcissistic ex-wife, when I couldn’t stand being with her, yet tried to get her into therapy for the kids’ sake. Before I broke as a Catholic and divorced her. Obviously, I was deeply conflicted. Better now. Book and blogging has really helped.
Yours was nice too.
I can only imagine…and glad to hear it was from your past. I will be reading that second book to see what happened from there.
More of the same systemic injustice. I saw deeper into the chess game of human existence. Book One is but the tremor.
I feel your frustration in this. Nice twist at the end.
Thanks, Linda. The ending tells it all – the frustration, the angst.
Loved this. Can really feel it, now that I’ve read the book. You are one talented man, my friend! BTW, this weekend I dig into editing. Had way too many irons in the fire. Expect notes soon.
Thank you, Susan. All of my poems come from this period, either before, during, or shortly after the decline and fall of my marriage. The book(s) really put the poetry into context.
Really appreciate the support on the galley proof. I just finished up to chapter 2 this evening.
Impressive and emotive poem. Your anger is/was palpable and yes, great twist. Wow.
Thanks, Susan. It derives from a highly frustrating family situation. Trapped by my own conscience and circumstances, I could not permit myself to go.
Classic. I had goosebumps coming on and off. Stunning write Nav. (hectic – but stunning) – beautifully timed somehow too – (oh jeepers now I have a lump in my throat – silly girl!)
Thank you, Belinda. I was dealing with some powerful emotions at the time. May not have been fun, but it did make for some meaningful poems.
I would imagine it must have been a ‘comfort’ to express in poetry things that are all most inexpressible. Funny how that works.
It was comforting. Helped me process difficult to articulate emotions, and something nice comes of it too.
Something nice is always – nice –
Indeed.
One can sense the catharsis building in the tension toward the ultimate resolution. Doesn’t this speak to all of us? Osho often said ‘Get out of your own way’. I think in esoteric Tarot it is card 15 – we put a loose shackle around our own necks and then fail to see we can escape, any time we want to. I apply all this to myself. Thanks for evoking these powerful images.
How true, Beth. We often are our own jailers in life, and often it is our fear of others’ opinions of us that are the shackles. I’m so glad the poem spoke to you, and indeed I did craft it with a building tension in mind, only to have the recognition of the jailer’s identity and circumstance bring emotional resolution. Thanks for your insightful comment.
Well crafted, kind sir. I am not a poetry person per se, but this one really did grab my attention. there is a sort of immediacy about it that captured my imagination. Bravo on this, and dealing with it in a way that is more winning than wining.
Paul
Thank you, my good Sir, for your kind comment. One has to confront life’s vicissitudes when they arise, not cower before them.
Intense and beautiful 🙂
Thank you, Shirley. There were certainly some intense emotions behind the writing of it.
So nice of you to visit.
I am your new follower/fan, Navi 😉
You honour me, Shirley. Apology for being brief–it is 11:45 p.m. here where I am, and I have one chapter left in my book’s galley proof to review before emailing the corrected file back to the self publishing house. (Plus I had yoga this evening. Long story.)
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep…
If you’re ever interested in the book, please fire me an email at themirrorbooks@gmail.com. No worries if you’re not.
Cheers.
Well said my friend, well said!! Tis a poet it would seem!! That poem was passionate, deep & the ending was both frightening & honest! Clearly your experience with your wife left you more than enough to write about. And Poetry is a wonderful venting tool. As you proved right here!!! Masterfully created from anger driven passion & experience. Those are the most riveting poems my friend! The ones that stay with you as this one will us!! Whenever we read poetry, we try to pick our most favorite part of it to show the author what spoke to us. But with your poem, this was more difficult to do as the entire poem was brilliant and each part felt dependent upon the delivery~as if it would cease to exist without each other. However, to stay true to us, we will tell you that we absolutely loved the whole of the poem, but this was the part that touched us the most:
“Then unleashes a most frightful note
With head thrown back in carnal song
My eerie scream against the night
In a horrid moment so prolong’d
Rabid echo of my fearsome plight
The words are alive….alive & working as it causes images to flood our minds. Brilliant Nav!! Brilliant!! Sharing this now with our networking friends!!
Ladies,
You are too lavish with your kind compliments, for which I thank you. Yes, some good came from that unpleasant marriage experience, obviously. I’m so glad the poem had such an impact on you.
You’ve picked my favourite part of the poem, too. The imagery and emotions are rather visceral.
This is what perfection looks like 🙂
You are just a sweetheart, young J.R. Somebody had better snap you up fast, or I’m going to arrange your marriage to my cousin. He was a bit behind the rest of us in school, so we sent him to do his Ph.D. in math so he could get extra practice in. He should be done by XMAS.
Lol!! Aww! That is so funny! You’re the greatest, Nav!
Wonderful people like you just bring out the best in me.
Cousin is on sale this week. Haven’t told him about it, so Mum’s the word.
Fire sale? Lol
Well I must say, you definitely have a new fan! I am here via Inion & Mathair, who are just wonderful!!! I absolutely loved this poem and am very much looking forward to reading more from you! 🙂
I love those two! Thanks so much for your kind words, and welcome aboard. My poems all come from the 2005-2008 period, but hopefully I’ve a few more left in the bank that will meet with your approval as well.
Cheers.
Reblogged this on The Grey Place and commented:
Powerful
Thank you for this kind honour, inceptionspark.
It is a pleasure – a wonderful poem – thank YOU navigator1965 😀
My pleasure and privilege, i.s. Thanks again for the kind words.
Love this poem Nav, my kind of poem definitely 🙂
Thanks, Sherri. Glad you like it. It is a favourite of mine.
I can see why, it’s brilliant, love the depth and the emotions it evokes…
Thank you again, Sherri. You’re a wonder for a fellow’s self confidence!
🙂
That is genuinely brilliant. And those last few lines… Great, fluid writing with real emotion and something meaningful to say. Loved it.
Thank you so much, Yak. I wrote this when I was “trapped” in a Catholic marriage to my narcissistic ex-wife, but felt I couldn’t leave for the kids’ sake. I was expressing strong emotions with this poem, as you clearly recognized.
She ultimately broke me in terms of marriage vows, but I arose a stronger man.
Wow… How come I missed it !!!
Thanks, KG. It is a powerful one, isn’t it? Perhaps you didn’t get an email alert?